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Adios, y'all...Well, sort of. I kind of needed a change, so I looked around and found a blog account that seems to meet my needs a little better. Opera blogs, of Opera browser fame. They offer a few things I really miss, such as recent visitors and a nicely integrated photo gallery. You can customize the css too, but it's heavy duty coding, not the amateur stuff I usually use. It also has messaging and email. No ads. No ads, man, how cool is that?You can start groups and a bunch of other nice features, so I'm settling down there for a while. Since there are about three of you still reading this, I think you'll still drop by, you guys are hard core. Join up so when you leave comments I know who you are. I have you all in my rss feeds and for once they work for me. For some reason I had one hell of a time with them in the past and I can't explain why. Now they just work. Go Here See you on the other side, brothers and sisters. /-) sgr
{ 12:43, 2008-Apr-9 }
{ Link } Whoa...I was cruising youtube just for laughs and I finally saw Tom Cruise on Oprah. You know, the time he showed up all wild about Katie Holmes. Wow. That was something. I know it's old news, but I hadn't seen it before.Personally I think he was high. Scientology seems to be his main thing now, but I know a dude that's high when I see one and Tom fit the bill. He needs help. He was so nutty that Katie Holmes literally ran away from him! I mean she RAN AWAY and he had to chase her. For once I don't think the media went overboard in busting his chops. Cruise is one heavily messed up cat. Out.
{ 06:57, 2008-Apr-7 }
{ Link } Movie meme...Let's do thisThe Rules: * Pick 15 of your favorite movies. * Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie. * Post them on your blog for everyone to guess. * Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed. These are your rules: * Leave your guesses in the comments. * No Googling or using IMDB search functions. Don’t cheat! * Know-it-alls, limit your guesses to three movies. Save some for others!
{ 12:35, 2008-Apr-3 }
{ Link } It's been a while, sorry...I miss you guys, but man have we been busy. Twin toddlers are a handful to say the least. We're tired.As previously stated, the kids were sick. Well they recovered and got sick again. We all got healthy and things were just fabulous in Reedland, but Jake managed to contract some ghastly virus a few weeks ago and bring it home. He was super sick for a week and a half, Karen got so sick she had antibiotics and Codeine pain reliever. Vance got sick, Paige got it and I managed to skate. After the worst of it passed, I got it. I'm still a little down, but not too bad. Jake's getting there and Vance is finally coming out of the woods. We're so tired that we had to pass on a family reunion the other night because we were fairly convinced that it would put one of us in the hospital. Seriously. Sunday I was getting ready for church and Karen was calling me. I got my shirt buttoned, worked on my tie and went down, to find her on the floor. Yep. Down, but not quite out. She hadn't sounded hurt and all she had done was call my name. That's because all she could do was call my name. She had another one of those brown outs like when she was pregnant. Finding your wife on the floor is terrifying. I felt indescribably guilty. I took my sweet time because she sounded like she just wanted a hand with something. She forgives me and understands, but I have to tell you it's nothing you want to have happen to you. It just sucks. What else? Not much on the bad tip. Things are leveling off finally, or at least for now. Let's hope. I get baptized Sunday which I'm excited about. I may have video for you guys, but I may not, it depends on how things go, and whether or not I make a sniveling baby of myself. I may post it even if I do, but...yeah. Paige finally walks. She has been able for about a month, but she just refused to do it. She went all gaspetti legs until we refused to carry her and had to remove all the walkers from the house. She held out for a little longer, but I think watching Vance have all the fun was the motivation she needed. Now we have two toddlers. Two. At once. I turned my attention to Vance for a second the other day and went and found Paige AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRCASE, smiling at me and trying to open the gate. I just about fainted. Vance has squid suckers for fingertips, man. If he touches something, it's adhered to him. We have to get to him before he touches stuff or he's got it in his grasp. I think things have actually been drawn toward him just by his will alone. He's something else. Jake is Jake, dudes. He's doing fine and baseball starts tonight, so we have now officially lost him for about a week until we can reign him in. He has that look in his eyes that tells you nothing you say is getting through. Doll's eyes. Boys. So, yeah, no funny wild stories no interesting points of view this time, just family business, like the Corleone's. Now I got some business to settle... /-) sgr
{ 09:05, 2008-Apr-2 }
{ Link } I just had to...I had to, the speech is in there.
{ 06:11, 2008-Mar-25 }
{ Link } My favorite movie moment EVER...Words cannot express how much I love this movie clip. It is perfect in every way. Love it as I do, dear readers. Love it as I do...
{ 10:12, 2008-Mar-14 }
{ Link } Keep it...Just a quickie today. The doctor prescribed me a new Asthma drug. Asmanex, the cute little pink "twisthaler". Yeah, a pink twisthaler, you read tight. Luckily I take it at home and don't have to carry it around.That's irrelevant because I'm not using it. I have pretty good insurance and the copay was STILL seventy bucks. I just told the pharmacy to keep it. That's nuts. The thing is that I had a sample and it was no better or worse than my older cheaper medicine. The Asthma gurus keep changing the game plan, but it seems to me that they don't actually use this stuff. I'm going back to the old stuff. Seventy bucks. Not this wise consumer, my friends, not this one. But maybe Wal-Mart will have it cheaper...heeeeeyyyyy!! Now we're on to something. Speaking of the Wal-Mart thing, I got into a local newspaper reporter's blog. This is like F or G level fame, man. Dig me here.
{ 01:10, 2008-Mar-13 }
{ Link } This is nuts...I've called national anti Wal-Mart campaign leaders, local unions, organized a website, drafted a few battle plans, solicited money and gathered a ton of contacts. Not bad for day one. Now we just need money, attorneys and volunteers. That's for day two, I guess.I may be old and boring, but at least I'm not...well, yeah. /-) sgr
{ 12:58, 2008-Mar-10 }
{ Link } Uuuuuhh, huh huh huhuhuh....I find myself barren of anything interesting to say lately. I think I have Baby-Brain. I guess it's to be expected. Twins are a LOT of work once they start walking so I have a consciousness similar to that of a retarded sea horse lately, weird and just floating there. See what I mean? That was weird right there.Wal-Mart wants to put a huge 24 hour retail center right behind my house, so it may be time to don my cape and become Steve Reed- Community Activist!! *insert heroic music here* It doesn't look really good for them at the moment, but once they start greasing the politicians and putting their kids through college and whatever other slimy things they do, it could all change. Nobody wants it here, so we'll have to see. And there you have it. I'm down to protesting a Wal-Mart now. It's only a matter of time before I start walking around the house in my white-tighties and black socks, or sitting on the porch making sure the kids stay off the lawn. I'm a middle aged white guy now. I have a wedding to go to tonight and I will be sure not to dance because I know people like you are just sitting there watching for it. Not me Jack, no way. I may be a square, but I know it. I'm a square with dignity. But unlike Sir nose, I will swim. Just not dance. (Where's that from, eh? My guess is that Slade knows.) Here's how bad it's gotten. My friend had to have emergency surgery last week for his gall bladder and appendix. He's a worrier, and my plan was to convince him that the surgeons had left a sponge in him. I had it all planned out, I was even going to ask him if he signed the "implement checklist". I made this well known to everyone around me. When the time came I folded. I did something so uncharacteristic of me I'm ashamed of myself. I felt pity for him. There, it's out. My boss is disgusted with me and our secretary makes me look at the floor when she looks at me now. I'm scum. She sent him flowers and a card that said "We're glad you're not dead." Yeah, she rolls like that. And when my turn came to do what I do best, I folded like a house of cards. I was also going to hug him REALLY weird and say messed up stuff to him like "I am so glad to see you again, you little retarded Italian lap dog you. God you're special!! You just keep on making do with what you have, little champ." Just to slip some insults in there and weird him out, but I just failed. That's where we find our hero. Boring, tired, retarded, unwilling to dance and in the process of watching his ass disappear day by day. It happens to us. I gotta go trim some nose and ear hair... /-) sgr
{ 11:35, 2008-Mar-7 }
{ Link } Ranging in the single digits...There are few times in a man's life when he truly realizes how much he really has. Last night was one such time for me. I am blessed to have a son that knows everything. Yep, he's hitting that stage. hooray.We were in the car last night and I was telling him how when I was a kid the snowfalls were usually much larger, and that sometimes the piles from the snowlpows were ten feet high, as high as the roadsigns. "Those aren't ten feet high." "Well, about ten feet." "No they're not." Here we go again. "Well just how tall are they, then?" "They're only about six feet high." He was very sure. "Jake, I'm six feet tall and they're taller than me." "Well, I can tell you that they're not ten feet. They're still ranging in the single digits." You read right. Ranging. In the single digits. He's contradicting me with weatherman lingo. Poor choice since those guys are usually wrong as well. We were on the way home from Bible study at the time. I said "You know, maybe I should save time and gas money." "What do you mean?" "You know everything, I can just study you." He just rolled his eyes. I don't blame him; putting up with the ignorant and uninformed can be trying. Here's the funny thing about kids. He was just sort of a smug little weiner face the whole ride, and I was geting fed up with him to be honest. He got into bed and I told him good night and headed out. "Dad." "Yeah?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "My hug? I need a hug." Of course he needs a hug. He's still just a kid. I hugged him and shut out the lights. It's easy to forget just how vulnerable they are sometimes. Growing up is hard for kids no matter what we might remember. He's almost a teenager now and I'm getting nervous. These next few years he's going to get exposed to things I had no idea about when I was a kid. Girls give head at the junior high like it's making out. The nice girls. The same ones that get straight A's and go to church and feed the homeless with their parents. It's what they DO now. And the thing is that they've rationalized it so much now that there's no guilt in it. You can't even read it in their faces. I need a drink. And they have all kinds of new, fun and ghastly ways to get high. Oh man it makes my spine crawl just thinking about it. I seriously pray every day for help in making the right choices because I need help. Can you imagine what goes on in a kid's mind when he gets an endless supply of free head? Man!! Just...ack, honey get my nitro pills, here comes the grabber. One bad move and things can turn ugly like that. (I just snapped my fingers) That. (I did it again for consistency.) And this is why parents get gray hair. You see your precious little unaware kid hurtling toward the shark tank and you can't stop it. You have to let it happen. All you can do is tell him how to put the shark suit on. As you can see, I'm having a mini crisis. This too shall pass and the German part of me will take over and start barking orders and goose stepping around and stuff. But I still can't help but worry. He's my son and I love him. Above all else, that's true. That is all. /-) sgr
{ 10:52, 2008-Feb-26 }
{ Link } Why do I live here...So, just in case you were wondering, I hate snow. Winter en-toto is a big downer for me. Cold air makes me wheeze, snow is no longer fun, just heart attacks falling from the sky, and although here everyone buys in to the doomsday forecasts that precede even the smallest precipitation, nobody cares enough to put down the cell phone.I think I'm gonna have to post a Chicago style weather forecast on youtube so you guys get the idea. Just thought I'd bitch.
{ 01:46, 2008-Feb-25 }
{ Link } I bet you can't stop watching either...Sorry about that, guys. I forgot to switch to "source" editing before I embedded. NOW have a look.
{ 12:09, 2008-Feb-25 }
{ Link } Just watch...This just about killed me.This too I tried embedding them but I suck at html.
{ 07:20, 2008-Feb-22 }
{ Link } And the loser is......and the loser is: Everyone. Yeah, that's right, everyone loses.I'm just disgusted. Last night Jake had his first science fair. His project was awesome. He made a rudimentary light bulb and changed filaments to see which ones would last longest. It was really good. So at lunch, the judges looked everybody's stuff over whoever looked at Jake's seemed impressed. He told him that he had a chance of winning first prize. How cool is that, huh? Yeah, the kid was nutso all night. He had no appetite, he behaved like a little butt because he couldn't get a grip on himself. He did what any kid would do. he got wired. Karen went with him and I watched the babies. The awards were at night. After a while Karen called. Jake won first prize!! I was so proud of him I yelled. Yeah. But it gets better. He won one of about 40 first prizes. That's not even possible. What he got is one of 40 first prize ribbons that mean less than the cheap crap they're made of. It's not that I'm upset because he didn't win. That doesn't matter at all. What does matter is that these...educators...are robbing the kids of the experience of learning how to in or lose. Words escape me on this. Forty first prizes and there weren't even different categories. I don't believe for a second that the universities and education boards are dumb enough to think this is good. I think they WANT us to think they're stupid, but they're not. Sure Sally McCookiebaker, All American soccer mom, with the ever present Nike jogging pants and the blue tooth earpiece always on her pushes it too. Her precious little overweight insecure effeminate little Tyler-shnookems should never experience a bad mood or disappointment of any kind. Her job is not to help her kids navigate life when it's hard as well as easy, her job is to make sure that the world molds to her baby's mood until the day comes that he moves out, freeing up a TON of vacation money. He's been officially molded into food. He will be eaten. And that's my point, the molders of our education system know this. You don't run universities, countries and gargantuan billion dollar corporations with out understanding psychology. Maybe the head shrinkers at the local level buy it, or maybe they're going along just to keep food on the table. My contention is that people in charge know exactly how to mold kids. They learned it from the Nazis. Yeah, I know, there I go again, but it's true. Those guys got stuff done and more than a few people outside of Germany picked up on the effectiveness of his machine. In the arena of globalization, our nation and it's kids are being molded into mindless worker bees. Don't think for a moment our borders or patriotism mean one thing to people who worship money. Churches operate across all countries. 40 first place ribbons defy logic. I just want to barf all over the principle's face. Chocolate shake and chili barf, too. So my plan is to approach him on the next opportunity and tell him that I was so impressed with the science fair tactic, I would really love to see him start handing out perfect grades to every kid no matter how bad the work. My little Jakester needs the boost. He's a good kid and if I can shelter him from every experience that he doesn't just love to death, I most certainly will. He'll be so much happier then. I have to go to Wendy's now. They have what I need. /-) sgr
{ 10:32, 2008-Feb-21 }
{ Link } And here's mine...MOUTHOLOGYQ. What is your salad dressing of choice? Litehouse Ranch mixed with Litehouse French. The right ratios are important. 3 to 1 Ranch to French. This was Karen's idea. I knew I mrried her for a reason. Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's. The double with cheese and a frosty are fantastic. Fan-freakin-tastic. Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? I don't have one. Any place with a really good hunk of dead cow and beer works for me. Q. On average how much of a tip do you leave at a restaurant? Between 10 and 15 percent depending on service. I have little tolerance to bad service. My mom was a career waitress at a really ritzy joint, so I know stuff. Yeah, I know stuff. Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? A Garbage salad from Rocco's. It has everything I could ever want on it and it is perfect in every way. That and a Heineken. Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice? Mushroom, onion, tomato, sassidge (Chicago pronunciation) no fish. Peppers, Q. What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and Peanut butter. Cardiac death on a crunchy warm slice of eight grain bread. YEAHH!!! TECHNOLOGY Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer? Some swirly stuff from Microsoft. Q. How many televisions are in your house? 4. I am ashamed. Q. What kind of cell phone do you have? A Verizon G'Zone. Basically an indestructible mega-phone . I need one. BIOLOGY Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Lefty, y'all. I'm a bigtime lefty. Hard to deal with, unfocused, weird. Lefty. Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth. 2 of em'. Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted? My TV. I lift a lot of heavy stuff around the house. Just manly I guess. Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? About 7 or eight times easy. Some by others, a few times by myself. More than one person has found me in the floor, limbs akimbo just after whacking my noggin on somrthing. It's getting a little silly to be honest. I go down to the floor easily BULL[CRAP]OLOGY Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Not even a little. That would suck so badly. How could a person even concentrate knowing that? Nope. Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Buck Mantosterone. Zack Drastic. Mooseknuckle Jones. Mack Mansack. Stay tuned, I tend to key inon this type of thing. Ask SIC. Q. What color looks good on you? I don't know. Anything that draws attention away from the raccoon circles under my eyes and skin tone resembling Elmers Paste. Ask my wife. Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A few bugs. Q. Have you ever saved someone's life? Prolly a few. I was a Paramedic for about 12 years. Q. Has someone ever saved yours? I don't know, but I'm dumb enough to have been saved from myself and not knowit. DAREOLOGY Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? No I would not. I wouldn't even consider it. Men are gross. Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? No. I love my pinkys. How else would I look swanky drinking tea? Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000? Once you tell me I can't do something, I want to do it, so Imight agree, butI'd welch pretty fast. Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? No, if I wanted to hurt people, I'd join the army. Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? Yes. Yes I would. Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Nope. DUMBOLOGY Q: What is in your left pocket? My phone, some lint and a USB memory stick. Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? Carpet, but I don't like it. It gets dirty too easily. Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower? Stand. My tub bites so hard that there's not even a good way to sit in there. My lers would be smooshed. Q: Could you live with roommates? Not for a moment. I do not like to cohabitate with anyone other than my family, and by that I mean MY family. Wife and kids. Everyone else would drive me insane and ther could be blood. Q: How many pairs of flipflops do you own? Zero. Just...zero. Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops? A LOOONG time ago. I was buyng pot and they caught me. Yeah. NO arrest or anything, but they roughed me up because of my big mouth. I desered it. Q: Who is number 2 on your top 8 I don't know. I just don't know. Q: Last friend you talked to? My boy Zackety Zack. Q: Last person who called you? Karen. I talk to a very small group of people on the phone because I hate it. Q: Person you hugged? Karen, if you can call it a hug. She's super Dutch, and they do not hug well. It's more of a touch/pat/shove away type interaction. Her whole family is that way, so i hug them super hard and awkward sometimes just for fun. CURRENTOLOGY Q: Missing someone? Not as far as the Police know. Q: Mood? I've been pretty irritable lately from fatigue and stuff, but today's a leeetle better. Q: Listening to? The cooling fan on my computer whir up and down. It's very quiet but it bugs me no small amount. And I'm in a cubicle with it all day. Q: Watching? My weight. Q: Worrying about? Not too much, although our nanny got in a wreck this morning, so I sorta want to help her out if we can. She's really nice and good to us, so, yeah. RANDOMOLOGY Q: First place you went this morning? Vance's crib to change him. I love my early morning time with my boy, he's so sweet. Q: What do you want to do right now? Sleep. Or go home and sleep. Also, play guitar really loud. That would elevate my mood quite a bit. Q. What's the last movie you saw? Blades of Glory. That was so bad it made me wish it wasn't so bad. Q. Do you smile often? Not really. I'd like to, but I'm just not a smiler. I'm a smirker, more or less. Unless it's early morning, then I'm a scowler of epic proportions. Q: Are you a friendly person? Yes. I'm nice to most people even though I'm really a loner at heart. It never hurts to make people feel comfortable. I'm actually a little reserved, but I cover it up with a lot of loudness. That is all.
{ 08:00, 2008-Feb-14 }
{ Link } Hey SIC...Here's why I love Soul Coughing:
{ 07:11, 2008-Feb-14 }
{ Link } So anywaaaayyy...Other than that, life's pretty tame. I suppose that's good since there's a ton that can go wrong in a heartbeat. There's that.So I have to be honest, I really couldn't care less about the presidential elections. Nooooot even a little. Why? Why, you ask? Because to me it's all smoke and mirrors. If two candidates get into an argument, there are polls taken to gauge how the public reacts to them. They adjust accordingly. I can't imagine anything less honest or genuine. If enough people disagree with how Hillary Clinton speaks about Obama, she reads the polls, gets the newest data and adjusts her public personna accordingly. So what you get is what you want to see, not what she is. The same goes for just about everyone except GW, he just does what he wants. I've been told often that if you don't vote, don't complain, or that if you don't vote you may one day have the right taken away from you. I don't care. I don't because the process is a sham from top to bottom or else we wouldn't have the present Commander In Chief in office, so don't even try. You're buying in, nothing more. We're on a crash course with a ton of nastiness just as all other giant civilizations were, so don't think we're special- we're not. And as always, there is no real Patriotism in our national leadership, unless you count lust for money. That runs everything, so the real division in the world is between the rich, and I mean super powerful, crazy rich, and the rest of us. Period. That's why we're at war all the time, whether it's declared, as in Iraq, or undeclared and secret, such as South America, particularly the Southern Cone. The poor don't matter and the less poor only matter as much as they can be kept in line. Look at Germany. They got led straight into hell by their leaders in WWII. It's going to happen to us sooner or later. Why else would there be four televisions in every home, spewing sex, entertainment, propaganda and pure stupidity full on every day while we are at WAR with people. Think it over. We're killing people, Iraqi's and Americans every single day, but it's a side note. It should not be a side note. It's wholesale murder no matter how we phrase it. War has been that in the past and it is now, and there's always been a way to lead us there. Remember, it's not necessary, no matter WHAT anyone thinks. We just don't have to do it. At least not at the whim of the rich. Don't believe it? Fine. Go to war. Right now, volunteer. If they won't take you, sneak there and fight if you want to fight. Don't forget to sign your children up as well, it's inevitable. Hey, they may have to get half of their face shot off in the sand, but it has to be done. It's a fact of life. Man, that was uncalled for, wasn't it? Yeah. But the fact remains, we shouldn't fight one another for the sake of our leaders. They are liars, they are untrustworthy and they will send you to your death while they sit safely by and watch. I know, it's in our history and our nature and for the most part it's true, we just kill each other, but I don't think we should accept it as easily as we do. GW draft dodged folks. He did it for real, he shirked the armed forces, avoided Viet Nam and now he's president and he's sending our people to war. Sorry, I just don't agree. So in a nutshell, I hate politics and do not have any interest in them. That said, those same politics have allowed me and generations of my family to live comfortably for a long time. I guess that makes me a hypocrite or some other such parasitic complainer. I don't deny it, but in light of my recent life changes I guess I have to do more than complain. I guess I have to try and change things somehow, but you can bet it won't be through politics as we know them. Yeah, it's fun to have a big mouth, but sometimes you have to step up. That means me too. But I still won't vote. Nyeaaaaah!! /-) sgr
{ 11:40, 2008-Feb-13 }
{ Link } Next part...I promised to finish telling you my conversion to Christianity story so I will. (There's so much more to thanthan I can write, but I'm trying, I really am.) As we left our hero last time, he was explaining a few basic, yet extremely important concepts of Christianity. That said, the average person can make a pretty simple arguement against Christianity nonetheless. "It's still a bunch of fairy tales." I can't blame people one bit for that, especially based on the impression most Christians give. I'll try and do better. We've all seen the Bible thumper running around telling people what they should believe. They've chased each of us out of at least one conversation and ruined our opinion of Christians. I'm related to two of them. They can tell you what to believe, but never give you a reason why. I'll go one better. It's not what you SHOULD believe, it's what you CAN believe. That makes more sense, doesn't it? Christ told his disciples that the condition of a person's heart is critical to understanding him and having a relationship with him. Some people are just not ready, some just don't want to. God gave us free will. That means he won't just force you to do stuff. Your will is his door into your life. You ask God to reveal himself to you. You do it honestly. If you're sincere, and you're ready, your life will change. At the very least, you'll see things happen that you can't write off as coincidence. People will show up in your life and guide you, help you. All sorts of things. Or you could write this off as a fluke. but he makes it hard. Take me for example. After I had looked everywhere for answers concerning my life, and after leading my own personal charge against the Bible and organized religeon, I came to a startling conclusion. I knew every reason it was a bunch of bull, but I'd never looked in a Bible. Not really. Any self respecting know-it-all at least has to see things from both sides to make a valid arguement. So as I told you earlier, I joined a men's Bible study and it changed my life immediately. I prayed. I really prayed to God and to Christ, telling them that if they'd led me there, I was ready to believe. The results were stunning. I'll give examples. One day I was shoveling snow and contemplating doing something stupid. I was going to sell off a laptop computer I had and buy a guitar. I was going to sneak. I deserved the money. Never mind that I have three kids and a wife, bills and responsibility, I deserved it. This type of thinking was nothing new to me. I tried every which way to stop it, as I have for years when I get a dumb plan in the gears of my mind, but it wouldn't go away. They never have.So I prayed. I asked Christ for help. I told him I'm just not able to work this out for myself and I can't stop. I hate myself. I prayed for a while as I shoveled and the seventeen voices in my head continued to argue the matter. My head was a deluge of noise as it always has been in those situations, but then something happened. My voice came into my own head. Clear, calm and simply silencing the rest. It said "Satan's tempting you, he knows what you're weak for." That was it. It was not my thought process finally coming to a valid conclusion, either. It was an answer given to me. I know that because within four seconds the thoughts I had fought for years just drained away. Their power was gone. Christ took it away. Believe me. Another time I was having one of my bad brain days. You guys read about three years worth of those. Anger, fustration, fear, confusion, inability to concentrate and worse. Once again I prayed. I did it a lot. The five hundred pound Gorilla in my head got madder and madder. It went on for about three hours until I began to think I was going crazy again, which scared me silly. I thought perhaps all of this Christianity stuff was a dream, maybe it was driving me nuts. Once again, an answer. "Satan wants you to think you're going insane because he knows you're afraid of that." Once again the power went completely out that process. Gone. In the sum total of about ten seconds Christ took the power of two of my worst mental afflictions away from me. I'm not a completely normal guy by any means, but my point is that Christ did for me what he did while he was here on Earth. He showed me first hand his authority over evil. He healed me of things that I've fought for my whole life. You can't reason that away. I asked for it, I got it. But praying real hard for my mortgage to be paid won't work. He gives you what you need, not plasma televisions. Also, this came after I'd prayed to Jesus and asked him to work in my life. Once you do that, Satan turns up the heat on you. Once you choose sides, he wants you bad. Until then, he doesn't even have to work at it. I was warned about that and it happened. It's true folks, it happened. The thing is this. You don't just DECIDE to believe in Jesus. It's not possible. We're not built for it.You seek him and he reveals himself to you. That's how it works. Lots of Christians spout scriptures and protest abortion clinics but never really seek Christ. That doesn't work. God paves the way for you when you decide to come to him. He brings you to his Son, the only way to heaven. Once your heart is ready, he'll show himself to you and there will be now way to deny him. That's the truth. You don't pick up the Bible and read about how the Jews slaughtered cows and birds and ran around in the desert and somehow buy into the set of laws in there. Although people do it all the time, they don't get it. Christ reaches you and then you have to reach out for him and take up your own cross. That means you have to bear the burden of following him in this world. You lose friends, you become unpopular you're not one of the crowd. But in my case, he did things for me that I could never have done, things that all of you have seen me go through. The job of a Christian is to tell others about this. He said "Freely you have received, frely give." That means his word. It does not mean become a preachy unbelievable antisocial Bible weaponizer. It means share his gifts with credibility. Be believable. Show people, help people, work at it, but don't think for an instant that you can heal anyone because you can't. You can help lead them to him, and that's your job. He and His Father do the rest. We're still sinful, imperfect people and we're all going to face him one day. He can be our friend or our judge, it's up to us. We're not above one another, not Christians, not Muslims, not Jews not anyone anywhere. So for now, I think I've said all that I can. I sincerely hope that in some way some of this reaches some of you, even just a little. I won't lord over anyone or thump them with my righteous sword of truth, because I don't have one. I just hope that what I say here makes more sense to you than what you've seen and read. My words are truly inadequate. But if he'll reach me, he'll reach you. This is something I was guided to, not something I intellectually chose and it's unexpected, powerful and humbling. I'm doing what he told me "Freely you have received, freely give." It's more than words and stories. Anyone that wants to talk to me about it, I'll take all the time you want. /-) sgr *cough*And the same ol' same ol' keeps on happening. Last night Karen was so sick that I sent her to the ER to be seen. She was coughing, weak and generally disabled. She slept 6 hours yesterday and had to lie down while she helped me wash the babies. It was not good. She got there and there were 14 people ahead of her. We decided she should come home and take a breating treatment instead of waiting four hours to wait another four hours. Better that she sleep. The doc can't see her until tomorrow afternoon. This sucks pretty hard. I'm still semi-sick, but not too bad. The kids are better, but still occasionally crab and take craps the consistency of paint. It'll be nice to get back to normal at some time. The ultra cool news is that we bought ourselves something NEW, yes, new, for our anniversary. A 40 inch LCD HDTV. One that has a wall bracket that swings out to adjust. We got a new fanfy remote too, one that goes through walls so we can hide the components in the closet behind the wall we hung it on. Now, for that Blu-Ray player...in the form of a PS3. That will be a while off, but a guy can dream. I'm not even a game player, but the cost is the same, so why not, right? My daughter is now one of the funniest people alive. She cruises around the house, thinking her baby thoughts and chuckling to herself. She doesn't need anyone around and she's not trying to impress anyone, she just finds almost everything funny. She'll tossa ball of toy across the room and give a little smirk-laugh. It's the funniest thing. It's made funnier by the fact that she has s ton of half sprouted teeth. Both her and Vance just sprouted teeth one day. Weird ones too. Paige got two front ones and some molars. Molars, yes. I promise I'll get more interesting again after I re-form my writing habit. Peace for now. /-) sgr
{ 11:22, 2008-Feb-11 }
{ Link } The fun never ends...I'm back once again you guys. Man I've been busy. I miss you guys, I really do, so I'm making time to blog.So after having my middle aged cardiac scare, things got more hectic. I made it back to work, but I just felt, well, tired. So it snowed really heavy a few days later and I had to shovel us out, which forced me to sleep for the rest of the day. I broke myself. And the kids got sick. Nasty sick. Vance started coughing REALLY hard, turning angry red and crying like crazy. He looked bad. Karen decided to take him in to the emergency room. Five hours later he was home, after having a lot of blood drawn and IV medicines. He had RSV, a nasty resiratory virus that levels kids. We had to clean EVERYTHING in the house. EH. VRY. THI. NG. We started right after they got home and had it done in about 3 or four hours. About ten o'clock, Paige woke up with a ghastly croupy cough. I've heard them before and this one was bad. She was gagging and for a while I even turned her over and smacked her on the back because I thought she was choking on something. This time we called 911 and the ambulance took her in. Four hours later and IV fluids and blood draws all over the place, she has Bronchiolitis and Pneumonia. Our doctor told us the nest day that those were also caused by RSV. So the two of them were on antibiotics and nebulizer treatments for a while and they were miserable. On the upside, they're gettin better now, but it's been over a week and a half, if not more. My man-brain loses track if time pretty easily now. It was really ugly, especially since Paige barely ate or drank for a few days and she lost weight and cried all day. Vance, on the other hand, ate and drank like the little ape that he is. Vance is so strong that he broke this tube they put kids in for X-Rays at the hospital. Karen says it snaps around their torso in two pieces and keeps their arms up and their chest still. Apparently he just freaked out, lifted his knees and busted it. That's my boy. That's my boy. Yes. So during all this, Karen and I got what the kids have and now we're both in bad shape. I'm not complaining too much since it all could be a lot worse. We could be one of those people murdered at the Lane Bryant next door. If you've seen it on the news, you know. A guy tied up a bunch of women at the local Lane Bryant and shot six of them, killing five. We live directly across the field from there. If you saw the overhead shots on TV, we're in the first row of houses across the road from there. He then disappeared and they have not yet found him. It's so sad. There were helicopters everywhere for hours. About three hours after they showed up, I decided to go get the mail. As soon as I reached the street, a chopper lifted up from behind some neighbors' houses and flew di-freaking-rectly over my head. I figure he picked me up on some instruments he was watching. I was going to wave, but figured I'd either be shot, or they'd land in the court, thinking I was hailing them. Never mind. In a while, I'll post my low quality video of the choppers overhead. So there it is, things have been hectic at home, and work is actually keeping me busy. I think about you guys daily. I'm not joking, I really do. I'm going to force myself to take the tome to write now, since before I just HAD the time. I have very few real world friends, so I have to stay in touch. That's all for now. /-) sgr
{ 12:22, 2008-Feb-7 }
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